I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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