My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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