Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
