I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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