i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
