They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
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