I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
