wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Randomize
