please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
