I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Holy sore nipples Batman
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
