I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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