when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
We are two peas in an std pod
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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