what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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