nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Are we still banned from the library?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
