sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Can Purell be used as lube?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
