Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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