Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
