it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
