Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
pray to the hookup gods
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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