He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
