I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I got inside last night via doggy door
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
