I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
