Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
