i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
The feeling are messing with the penis
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
