Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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