i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
