I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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