One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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