They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
