Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
