My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
