The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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