Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
