Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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