That's intense
he shaved USA in his pubs
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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