I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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