Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
