My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
