you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
