We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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