Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
