You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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