Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
