that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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