i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
