Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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