she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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