you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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