My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
