i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
